Barbara Sawyer (above) writes
the Nurotik Times newsletter.
Brian Dorn contributed a great
article this month entitled "Fear
is only the word ear with an F in
front." Barbara is seen here
correcting a typo.
Club Nurotik "regulars", Jean
Sweeney and Bob Ward having
fun on Hawaiian holiday.
Ladies and Gentlemen-
Welcome to Club Nurotik
Where love is in the air
and everyone has a beautiful complexion
where dye is in the hair
and everyone fears rejection
take a chance
take a glance
and you will find that perhaps
your shoes don't go with your pants
that perhaps you forgot to unplug the iron
is the valet parking attendant smoking in your car
what vodka are they pouring
wow! look over there
the one you've been checking out all night
is looking at you
this could be it
the big one
what will you talk about
why did you have that garlic and chicken
and garlic and more garlic pasta
just before coming here
is there anything in your teeth
do you have a tic tac
okay, here it goes
maybe you should have another drink
before you go over there
well here it goes
you do have a silver tongue
here it goes
"roses are red violets are purple
what's your name
oh yes miss slurple"
"let's do brunch let's do lunch
after all I've got a hunch"
did you get her number
she's been in the ladies room a long time
do you think she's coming back
she really likes you
hey what's happening
the lights are going on
and they're asking you to leave
where everyone thinks they are
and you know they are
because you are
I've got to go home now and floss
went to see my analyst today
I was in and out in no time
Used the express couch
"6 problems or fewer"
But really, I don't need psychoanalysis
I was born preshrunk
called myself the other day, but there was no answer. So I left
a message. Why don't I return my call. This happened once before. We were having problems. Although I
took myself out often, treating myself to fine dining, the theater
and lavish gifts, nothing seemed to work. I knew myself well enough
to know that my love could not be bought, yet to be with me, I felt that I needed
to make a statement. I started to wonder. What do I have in common
with myself? Are we compatible? Do I see myself truly committed
to me. One day I decided to take a break from myself, to sort things
out. It was difficult. The temptation was always there to call
or write a letter. Time went by. I missed myself, but did not
want to return to a relationship of deception and mistrust. Then
I met you. You are completely different than me. Unlike me, I
so enjoy your company. Now, I'm not so sure I want to hear from
myself. I have realized that I can get along without myself just
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